A Work in Progress

Sorry for my entry yesterday evening, I am feeling a bit better today. My poor parents thought I was at the point of no return with that entry last night. But in no way did I intend it to sound that way. I will be using this blog to express my feelings, sort of an outlet so to speak. Most times you will read of my trial and tribulations with as much humour I can find in them, but other times you may read of the occasional tribulation I wasn't able to conquer with the same jest.
I am a work in progress so to speak, living in this little life with a glimps now and again at what true living will be like in paradise. I know I am so blest to have the beautiful children that I have and a truely honorable man as my husband.
Jeremy and I are a team, we support each other most of the time when we are having a tough time with the kids, usually taking over when the other has had enough, allowing the other to "go let off steam" even if it means just going for a walk through Walmart..or in Jer's case a local nursery or home decor store...lol.
It's nights when we both are at our limit of patience and energy that leave me feeling very defeated as I did last night.

But today was a better day overall. Work went reasonabally well, and I also made final arrangements with our new child care provider!
I am a little nervous but excited to try someone and something new for the kids. The daycare is called "Busy Bees" and is run by a single Mom out of her home. It is amazing, and you won't believe it unless you saw it yourself! She has converted her entire house into a childcare facility! Wall to wall toys, activities and learning fun! She even teaches them sign language. Her oldest boy goes to a private school and at a ripe old age of 5 is going into grade 3! Her yongest is 18 months and can identify colors and speak fluently unlike my little turtle who just grunts and says "yah" and "dah" to everything...lol! I really think it will be a good experience for my children. So much so that I am not putting Olivia in JK this year. I think she will learn just as much from this program!
She provides full day care, full meals and snacks diapers and will pick up Ben after school. And will do all that for 60.00 per day. This is what I am paying now for the three of them being cared for at home, with my food, diapers and hydro....lol!
Anyways I am hoping that it will all work out well.

This evening's bed time was entertaining to say the least. I allowed them the priveledge of sleeping in the same room, before I left I told the kids no talking (yah right) no playing (yah right) and no getting out of bed unless you have to use the bathroom (yah right). Less then 5 min after leaving the room I go back to check on them and Olivia is standing on the ladder of the bunk beds with her pants pulled down mooning Ben...what the????
Needless to say with a blushing behind she was sent packin to her own room in her own bed.

Gotta love it!

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

I struggle sometimes with that very question, at times I feel like just packin it in. I feel so overwhelmed with the stress of living up to expectations of the majority, it's like climbing a slippery hill. Just when you think your getting to the top, you slip right back to the bottom.
My dear sister Candida gave me some great advise, I just don't know how to apply it. She told me that I need to learn my limitations and listen to them. If I can't get it all done in one day realize the world isn't going to end if it's not.
But here in lays the problem that I have, how do you live like that? How do you allow your house to go to a trash heap? How do you not do the laundry? The dishes? Bathing the children? How do you not go to work everyday while your children are being raised by a stranger? How do you learn not to care what others think of your parenting skills?
I just want to curl up and go to sleep in a corner, but how can you? I have to many people that rely on me. 3 little ones in particular.
Maybe I think to much of my role in life, but I can't keep the thought out of my head when I am feeling this way, what if something were to happen to me? Why is it that others don't see me in that way...I guess I am just drained, overspent, is this how all mothers feel?

I need more time in the day, or a full time nanny or housekeeper, need to win the lottery....Wish that I had more time to do things that I want to do, to have a bit more me time...more then just the left over minutes at the end of the day.

Well that is my story today...I am having a very blue day. Feel sorry for me, wish I were YOU day.
But after all is said and done, I do love my Children and my Dear Husband and pray that they will always feel the same about me, even during my bad days.

Benace the Menace

The aftermath of being up to late partying the night before. Ben was so menacing today. He was into everything, and with such attitude. I can't stand the talking back and the absolute refusal to do as he is told. The flat out NO! That was the theme today.

He actually with the intent of popping a neighbours tires placed a sharp rock under the tire so it would puncture when it backed over it. Where does he come up with these ideas?

He also trashed the basement, pulled up the rug and threw is across the room, the couch was in the middle of the room and all the cushions were off it, and every toy was scattered that he could possibly find. Of coarse he didn't do it single handedly, however he is always the orchestrator.

Some days I can't express it in words how frustrating I find parenting him.

Family Ties!

So we had a great time at the wedding last night! Haven't had a wedding in the family in years, however we have a slew of young ones coming of age so I imagine the next few years will be filled with lots of weddings!
Brianna looked very beautiful, she wore a nice long strapless gown that complimented her slim tall build, and her girls wore deep purple gowns (my favorite) and long satin gloves.

The little flower girl Julia was so gorgeous and just seemed to float around all night like a little fairy!












They first danced as husband and wife to "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol.

















My favorite dance of the evening was the Father dance, simply because she chose a song dear to my heart "Butterfly Kisses". This was my dance with my Daddy 12 years ago just after that song was first released!
Although all attention was on Brianna and Uncle Dan, my Dad graced me with another dance on our own little piece of floor near the back of the room. It was a highlight of the evening for me!

The rest of the evening was spent rockin it out with my kids on the dance floor, I didn't sit down once!
You can so feel the Love that Ties our Big Family together at any gathering but especially at special events like this, we thank Jehovah every day for this loving arrangement.

A Little Help from your Friends

So here we are Thursday night and still no babysitter. I thought I had a great new sitter as I mentioned in my post last night, but this morning I received an email from her. She decided that it wasn't enough money. So frustrating. I make it clear the amount of money I am paying before the interviews. What a waste of time.
Anyways I have asked a friend Carol Soares, along with her sister Lucy whom have cared for the children before to fill in for me until I find a permanent sitter or she has to go back to school, whatever comes first.
Back to the drawing board.

Of coarse the day wouldn't be complete without more drama, Jeremy locked his keys in the car at work. So after I am done work I head over to find that he has not only locked them in the car but has left them in the ignition with them turned slightly so that it drained the battery.
So as the clouds are looming above with a crazy storm blowing in Jeremy asks a Friend from work to jump his car...perfectly safe...lol.
Anyways he got home with the car and himself in tact. So that's the silver lining today.

Got the Blues?

So Ben's cast is now Blue after his followup appointment with the Orthopedic surgeon. 25.00 fee for the blue fibreglass cast over the traditional plaster. I think this is criminal, as this fee is charged by London Hospital but not by the smaller hospitals such as Tillsonburg where we received Ben's original red cast. And yet all these smaller hospitals are all run by the London Health Science. Doesn't make any sense, the plaster cast shouldn't be even an option anymore. They are messy and very heavy. These new fibreglass casts are so lightweight and easy to apply.
Anyways we splurged I guess and got Ben a fancy blue color this time! Ben says to me today something incredibly smart, but shows how devious his little mind works "Hey Mom...I know a good way I can take my cast off, all I have to do is put it in water and then cut it off with scissors!"
So I am sure I will come home to find this brilliant plan in action one of these days, even though I threatened him with his life not to even think about it! LOL.

On that note, we got a reply from the Provincial Parks Superintendent today from Port Burwell in response to my letter requesting further compensation to our camping disaster! I figured it wouldn't hurt to send off a letter, and I feel vindicated! They are going to reimburse us our entire camping week expense! Even though that doesn't help Ben, it certainly makes me feel better about waisting my vacation time on such a horrible rainy, dirty camping experience.

Just as this week was getting off to a great start with Ben's new cast, and our response from the park we find on the hood of the car a parking ticket from the city for 30.00 bucks, for parking the car are the road facing the wrong way. Talk about being kicked while you are down. Perfect!

Anyways the last two evenings I have been interviewing for a new childcare provider. With such a short period to do it and so few applicants, I have been a little worried. However I think I found a young woman that feels right. Her name is Aly and she is 22. You know when you click with someone? Her personality is great and she relates really well to the children. After I check her references I will be calling her to start on the 24th. Monday...crazy.

Prince of Peace?

My kids have a huge obsession with toads. Our backyard backs onto a open field, and so we always have an abundance of little creatures but especially toads. They collect them and take care of them in little cages. More often then not however they end up starving to death and dying before I can convince them to let them go.

So today Ben made Olivia kiss a toad..what will he think of next??? Let me put it this way...there was no Prince and definitely he didn't bring us any peace..LOL.

With a Cherry on Top

This week has been a very stressful week, but of coarse it wasn't over just yet.

Sunday morning we get a knock on the door and our neighbour informs us that there was a string of car break ins overnight and ours too got broke into. Fortunately we didn't have much of value in the car except Jeremy's wallet. Although the little thieves riffled through it nothing was taken, not his ID or credit card, so that was a silver lining. Our CD's were taken, some spare change and possibly our GPS as we can't locate that. We called the police and they said that right now what the thieves are looking for is specific to the GPS systems, so that explains why they didn't take J's ID. Regardless no point claiming it to insurance as nothing was damaged and our deductible is higher then the stolen goods.

Later in the day I also receive a call from my Childcare provider. She has been offered a job at the YMCA as a Life Coach...whatever that is....but anyways she is giving me her 2 weeks notice. Her new job starts on August 24th...this is not 2 weeks away..only 1 week..so now I am left without a sitter for my kids and have a week to find new arrangements. Not good.


However despite all this bad news, a little cherry on top came into the world last night August 16th, his name is Patrick and he is the cutest little thing. My sister Casidee delivered him, weighing in just over 7 pounds, he is so tiny and sweet and perfect in every way. I got to hold him and kiss is little hands and perfect toes. Although he has been born into a less then perfect situation I sure hope Casidee makes the best of it and turns her life around.




I really needed the baby therapy last night, babies always make me feel so good. There is just something about their vulnerable little cries, there hazy little gaze up at you and that SMELL that just melts my heart. Such a blessing of creation!

Another Day in Paradise

So today went a little better! No trips to the emergency room, so that is an improvement. I did however request a day out of the house as we all were going a little squirley, especially me. So the solution to the problem was a trip to Toys r Us, and an afternoon at the movies.
After an ever pain saking decision, Olivia finally decided on a Princess play cell phone and a Littlest Pet Shop, Benjamin of course had no problem deciding upon a Bakugon his newest obsession, and Isaac was happy with a Hot Wheels Dinky car. How I long for the days when a $1.25 priced toy would satisfy the other two..lol!
From there we headed off to the movies, we discovered the Rainbow Cinemas matinee show is only $4.25 vs $15.00 at the larger cinemas, and all we sacrificed was 3-D...no big deal, I really don't like that technology, my eyes just don't adjust to it and the kids get tired of wearing the
3-D glasses really quick. We saw the adorable movie "G-Force", the kids really loved it. Even Isaac laughed at the fuzzy little ginnypigs that stared as super spies for the FBI. Too cute!

The rest of the day amounted to a frustrated trip to the grocery store, and a evening at home trying to keep Ben from doing back flips off the sofa...I swear that child has no fear, in fact while at the mall today where the theatre is he actually attempted to walk down an escalator staircase....I don't know how he gets away from us so quick, but I guess when you are running after a 2 year old the opposite direction, and a 3 year old who is climbing the rails overlooking the bottom floor he takes full advantage of our diverted attention. Dangerous enough is the fact that he is attempting this, but on top of the fact that one arm is in a sling with a broken arm...gosh...I have no words.

Bed time tonight was a blast, the kids didn't settle down to sleep until 10:30 even though they were put in bed at 8:00pm. Typical to other nights they play and interchange sleeping arrangements until one or the other get so tired that they either a)pass out from exhaustion or b) make enough noise that Mom or Dad have to threaten them with some consequence if they don't comply...tonight it was both.

Anyways the important thing is that they are now sleeping and I finally have a few minutes of silence to watch some of my shows...I love my PVR!

BENJAMIN DOES IT AGAIN!

August 13th

So I am nicely sleeping in as I didn't get home with Ben until 1:30am, so Jeremy kindly got up with the kids.
9:30 strikes and all hell break loose.....all I hear is the children, Ben and Olivia come sceaming up the stairs.
BEN HAS STUCK A GOOGLEY EYE UP HIS NOSE! That is right, a googley eye, he has stuck up his nose and it is stuck....shall I say it again? Unbelievable.

He is bleeding from the nose and is blowing the blood all over the place as he is trying to get it out of his nostril. I got a flashlight and couldn't see it anywhere.

So off to the walk in clinic he goes with Jeremy.

The doctor didn't see it, in fact Ben thinks he swallowed it. So now it will pass through the natural way.

It never ends ladies and gents.

Lightening Strikes Twice?

August 12th

So Ben strikes again! OMG can you believe it? Yes that is right, so after Breaking his arms..as in plural last year September he breaks his arm camping.
We returned home and unpacked trying the whole time to keep Ben seated with his arm raised....yah right..you try to leash a wild animal.
Needless to say by the end of the day his swelling in his fingers had not gone down, and they were causing him pain. I really had a bad feeling about it so I insisted on bringing him back to the hospital. We called Telehealth, and they advised to bring him to emerge since he had pain in his fingers.
I am soooo glad that I did, although it took about an hour to see a doctor, as soon as he saw him he immediately picked him up in his arms and ran him down to the castings room to have the cast taken off. With Ben screaming his head off they sawed it off and placed it in a temporary splint with a hard cast bottom, and gave him a sling to keep his arm in.
It is to remain like this until Monday when he get to see the Orthopedic surgeon.

I am a little nervous still as I overheard the doctor on the phone with the surgeon indicating that there is still a 25% displacement on the break. He told me when I questioned him that this is acceptable. I pray that he is not lying to me to keep me from worrying.

Camping August 2009

This week we decided to venture into the wild of Port Burwell camping for the week as a Family. As difficult as that would be, I felt it would be worth the experience for the sake of building family memories.

The week started with a stressful set up at camp followed by a series of HUGE thunderstorms that came and went through our stay which left everything super dirty and muddy and damp. We made it down to the beach once, during which I spent the entire time yelling at Benjamin not to wade out into the deep water. I swear the boy has no fear of anything, as not only the danger of the deep water but there were dangerous water conditions with large waves coming in from the stormy weather that week, needless to say that beach trip only lasted a whole 20 minutes before another storm came in off the lake.

Our dear friends Jason and April with their children braved the elements and stayed Sunday night through Tuesday. I think they had a good time despite the rainy conditions.

We had one great campfire with them Monday night and stayed up way to late, but we had some good laughs, even had a crabby neighbour ask us to keep it down...lol! We weren't being loud really we weren't...lol.

Then Tuesday came...this turned out to be our last day...although we planned to stay the whole week this was a day from H-E-double hockey sticks....after a night of yet another downpour, I woke to a muddy walk to the bathroom...of course I slipped and fell in the mud in my PJ's...lovely, I could tell this wasn't going to be a good day. I returned back to the trailer to then pack up the crew and head down for the showers..all went well until Isaac. I decided to give him a bath in the provided laundry tub facilities they had..of coarse warning all other guests waiting for showers that I was simply giving him a bath but to expect shrills that would lead them to think he was being murdered or something...and of course to expectations he could be heard to the other side of the campground. Poor little guy, poor me I think my ears are still ringing.

After returning to the site, we prepared breakfast and said farewell to Jason and April.

The day seemed to be looking up, however my nerves were just not holding their own...after a few rumbles of yet another thunderstorm, and my kids constant nagging I had a total and complete melt down. After about 30 minutes of crying, I settled in my trailer with Isaac, Liv and Jeremy for a well deserved nap. Trisha offered to take Ben to the park and let us rest, which truly was a God sent.

We were awoken about 2 hours later (I can't believe we slept that long) to my Mother yelling "Jeremy..Jeremy...IT'S BEN HE BROKE HIS ARM" we took off running out of the trailer without touching the ground I swear...and sure enough did he ever break his arm. It was completely displaced. One of those breaks that you don't even want to look at....we picked him up and rushed him to Emerge in Tillsonburg. There they gave him Demerol for the pain, followed by a needle to numb the site of the break...after which they had to pull and reset the arm back into place.

I nearly passed out, had to leave the room and could hear my poor baby's shrills of pain from the waiting room. 2 hours later we left with a Red "spider man" cast and returned to the Campground.

Wednesday we packed up and went HOME!

Lesson learned "Never go camping again"