Moms Know Best

There really is so much to say, I feel a bit over whelmed in not knowing exactly where to start. I am also feeling so small in this world to think that my thoughts matter enough to put down in words. But here I am, tapping away on the keyboard once again.
I guess the best place to start is to talk breifly about Ben and how he is progressing. The simple answer is...very little change. I think really we've got Ben to where the only thing that is going to change is maturity. With maturity he will learn how to better manage his Asperger traits. Those being a tendancy to blame others for any and all problems that arise. Being quick to anger and lashing out without stopping to question the intentions of others. Being very possesive of his things, and not willing to share. He will always struggle in these areas and will always have difficulty in certain social situation where he is not in control. He thinks very logically, however it's Ben's logic which sadly is not always reality.
I can however say that the pasts few years he does manage his outburst with greater control as they typically do not last that long. He also is a bit less impulsive, thankfully as his interests have ranged from high risk, endrenalin rush sports like Parkor and Pro Scootering, and most recently Skatboarding. He tends to be a bit more cautious then he ever has been, this is definately improved!
He also has had some shining moments where he is able to express to me his feelings, says he understands mine and others but just doesn't know what to do about it. That gave me great insite into his mind!   He just doesn't know what to do about it!
I love Ben to bits, even though he has been a great challange to me, and I am sure will present many more, I am very proud of our journey together.

Next I wanted to talk about is a new journey that I am on, and that is a treatment plan for my Daughter Olivia.
There is so much to say, I will do my best to sum up what's been happening without leaving out improtant details.
Olivia is now 10 years old and is a beautiful, loving and caring young lady. She is sensitve and loves to laugh and have a good time with her friends! I love her to the moon and back and take every opportunity to tell her so!
Reeently however she has started acting differently....or maybe not neccessarly different but more extreme in her ranges of normal emotion. She has always been a cryer, as most little girls are...and to be honest I am a cryer so it comes as no surprise she is as well. However it became ever clearer that this wasn't normal amounts and frequentcy of tears most would see out of a little girl her age. It seemed constant and never ending...over the smallest things she would fall apart to the point I would have to comfort her by stroking her back and holding her tight continuously for up to an hour or more. She would cry so much it would bring her to vomitting.
Also she would for no reason start to have panic attacks, shortness of breath, light headedness and feelings of nausea. Often I would ask her what is wrong and she would pick some random event that happend days ago that she now had become focussed on and panic stricken over. She also had a unreasonable fear of needles from the doctors...even saying the word would make her nearly faint. To our household its now referred to as the N word.
After a few attempts at explaining this behaviour to my Family Doctor, I was finally able to convince him this wasn't normal little girl behaviour...that she wasn't just being dramatic and attention seeking. Either that or he was just tired of hearing about it, and agreed to refer me to the same pedestrian that
treats Ben.
This paediatrician is an expert in her field of work, and that is working with families of high needs children. I fully trust her and will forever be grateful to her for the way she has helped me with Ben and his needs. I don't know where I would be without her!
Anyways I explained to her the different issues I was having with Olivia. She felt that Olivia could definitely   need some help dealing with her anxiety. She gave me some coping techniques and some parenting tips to help curb some of the other things that looks like behavioural issues. But started medical treatment of Prozac to help her get control of her emotions and anxiety. I agreed to disagree however on her accessment that the other issues we were having were just behavioural....I told her that a Mother knows...and there was more to this then that. But would be happy to start with that!

So I will leave this entry at that, and continue another night....but remember Moms know best!