A Work in Progress

Sorry for my entry yesterday evening, I am feeling a bit better today. My poor parents thought I was at the point of no return with that entry last night. But in no way did I intend it to sound that way. I will be using this blog to express my feelings, sort of an outlet so to speak. Most times you will read of my trial and tribulations with as much humour I can find in them, but other times you may read of the occasional tribulation I wasn't able to conquer with the same jest.
I am a work in progress so to speak, living in this little life with a glimps now and again at what true living will be like in paradise. I know I am so blest to have the beautiful children that I have and a truely honorable man as my husband.
Jeremy and I are a team, we support each other most of the time when we are having a tough time with the kids, usually taking over when the other has had enough, allowing the other to "go let off steam" even if it means just going for a walk through Walmart..or in Jer's case a local nursery or home decor store...lol.
It's nights when we both are at our limit of patience and energy that leave me feeling very defeated as I did last night.

But today was a better day overall. Work went reasonabally well, and I also made final arrangements with our new child care provider!
I am a little nervous but excited to try someone and something new for the kids. The daycare is called "Busy Bees" and is run by a single Mom out of her home. It is amazing, and you won't believe it unless you saw it yourself! She has converted her entire house into a childcare facility! Wall to wall toys, activities and learning fun! She even teaches them sign language. Her oldest boy goes to a private school and at a ripe old age of 5 is going into grade 3! Her yongest is 18 months and can identify colors and speak fluently unlike my little turtle who just grunts and says "yah" and "dah" to everything...lol! I really think it will be a good experience for my children. So much so that I am not putting Olivia in JK this year. I think she will learn just as much from this program!
She provides full day care, full meals and snacks diapers and will pick up Ben after school. And will do all that for 60.00 per day. This is what I am paying now for the three of them being cared for at home, with my food, diapers and hydro....lol!
Anyways I am hoping that it will all work out well.

This evening's bed time was entertaining to say the least. I allowed them the priveledge of sleeping in the same room, before I left I told the kids no talking (yah right) no playing (yah right) and no getting out of bed unless you have to use the bathroom (yah right). Less then 5 min after leaving the room I go back to check on them and Olivia is standing on the ladder of the bunk beds with her pants pulled down mooning Ben...what the????
Needless to say with a blushing behind she was sent packin to her own room in her own bed.

Gotta love it!

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

I struggle sometimes with that very question, at times I feel like just packin it in. I feel so overwhelmed with the stress of living up to expectations of the majority, it's like climbing a slippery hill. Just when you think your getting to the top, you slip right back to the bottom.
My dear sister Candida gave me some great advise, I just don't know how to apply it. She told me that I need to learn my limitations and listen to them. If I can't get it all done in one day realize the world isn't going to end if it's not.
But here in lays the problem that I have, how do you live like that? How do you allow your house to go to a trash heap? How do you not do the laundry? The dishes? Bathing the children? How do you not go to work everyday while your children are being raised by a stranger? How do you learn not to care what others think of your parenting skills?
I just want to curl up and go to sleep in a corner, but how can you? I have to many people that rely on me. 3 little ones in particular.
Maybe I think to much of my role in life, but I can't keep the thought out of my head when I am feeling this way, what if something were to happen to me? Why is it that others don't see me in that way...I guess I am just drained, overspent, is this how all mothers feel?

I need more time in the day, or a full time nanny or housekeeper, need to win the lottery....Wish that I had more time to do things that I want to do, to have a bit more me time...more then just the left over minutes at the end of the day.

Well that is my story today...I am having a very blue day. Feel sorry for me, wish I were YOU day.
But after all is said and done, I do love my Children and my Dear Husband and pray that they will always feel the same about me, even during my bad days.

Benace the Menace

The aftermath of being up to late partying the night before. Ben was so menacing today. He was into everything, and with such attitude. I can't stand the talking back and the absolute refusal to do as he is told. The flat out NO! That was the theme today.

He actually with the intent of popping a neighbours tires placed a sharp rock under the tire so it would puncture when it backed over it. Where does he come up with these ideas?

He also trashed the basement, pulled up the rug and threw is across the room, the couch was in the middle of the room and all the cushions were off it, and every toy was scattered that he could possibly find. Of coarse he didn't do it single handedly, however he is always the orchestrator.

Some days I can't express it in words how frustrating I find parenting him.

Family Ties!

So we had a great time at the wedding last night! Haven't had a wedding in the family in years, however we have a slew of young ones coming of age so I imagine the next few years will be filled with lots of weddings!
Brianna looked very beautiful, she wore a nice long strapless gown that complimented her slim tall build, and her girls wore deep purple gowns (my favorite) and long satin gloves.

The little flower girl Julia was so gorgeous and just seemed to float around all night like a little fairy!












They first danced as husband and wife to "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol.

















My favorite dance of the evening was the Father dance, simply because she chose a song dear to my heart "Butterfly Kisses". This was my dance with my Daddy 12 years ago just after that song was first released!
Although all attention was on Brianna and Uncle Dan, my Dad graced me with another dance on our own little piece of floor near the back of the room. It was a highlight of the evening for me!

The rest of the evening was spent rockin it out with my kids on the dance floor, I didn't sit down once!
You can so feel the Love that Ties our Big Family together at any gathering but especially at special events like this, we thank Jehovah every day for this loving arrangement.

A Little Help from your Friends

So here we are Thursday night and still no babysitter. I thought I had a great new sitter as I mentioned in my post last night, but this morning I received an email from her. She decided that it wasn't enough money. So frustrating. I make it clear the amount of money I am paying before the interviews. What a waste of time.
Anyways I have asked a friend Carol Soares, along with her sister Lucy whom have cared for the children before to fill in for me until I find a permanent sitter or she has to go back to school, whatever comes first.
Back to the drawing board.

Of coarse the day wouldn't be complete without more drama, Jeremy locked his keys in the car at work. So after I am done work I head over to find that he has not only locked them in the car but has left them in the ignition with them turned slightly so that it drained the battery.
So as the clouds are looming above with a crazy storm blowing in Jeremy asks a Friend from work to jump his car...perfectly safe...lol.
Anyways he got home with the car and himself in tact. So that's the silver lining today.

Got the Blues?

So Ben's cast is now Blue after his followup appointment with the Orthopedic surgeon. 25.00 fee for the blue fibreglass cast over the traditional plaster. I think this is criminal, as this fee is charged by London Hospital but not by the smaller hospitals such as Tillsonburg where we received Ben's original red cast. And yet all these smaller hospitals are all run by the London Health Science. Doesn't make any sense, the plaster cast shouldn't be even an option anymore. They are messy and very heavy. These new fibreglass casts are so lightweight and easy to apply.
Anyways we splurged I guess and got Ben a fancy blue color this time! Ben says to me today something incredibly smart, but shows how devious his little mind works "Hey Mom...I know a good way I can take my cast off, all I have to do is put it in water and then cut it off with scissors!"
So I am sure I will come home to find this brilliant plan in action one of these days, even though I threatened him with his life not to even think about it! LOL.

On that note, we got a reply from the Provincial Parks Superintendent today from Port Burwell in response to my letter requesting further compensation to our camping disaster! I figured it wouldn't hurt to send off a letter, and I feel vindicated! They are going to reimburse us our entire camping week expense! Even though that doesn't help Ben, it certainly makes me feel better about waisting my vacation time on such a horrible rainy, dirty camping experience.

Just as this week was getting off to a great start with Ben's new cast, and our response from the park we find on the hood of the car a parking ticket from the city for 30.00 bucks, for parking the car are the road facing the wrong way. Talk about being kicked while you are down. Perfect!

Anyways the last two evenings I have been interviewing for a new childcare provider. With such a short period to do it and so few applicants, I have been a little worried. However I think I found a young woman that feels right. Her name is Aly and she is 22. You know when you click with someone? Her personality is great and she relates really well to the children. After I check her references I will be calling her to start on the 24th. Monday...crazy.

Prince of Peace?

My kids have a huge obsession with toads. Our backyard backs onto a open field, and so we always have an abundance of little creatures but especially toads. They collect them and take care of them in little cages. More often then not however they end up starving to death and dying before I can convince them to let them go.

So today Ben made Olivia kiss a toad..what will he think of next??? Let me put it this way...there was no Prince and definitely he didn't bring us any peace..LOL.